busy busy busy

.. and so scattered.
as exciting as this time in my life is.. and the anticipation of what's to come..
i want to be in my void. in my internal cave where no one can touch me.
lately.. its been every one and every thing all at once..[such is life!] and i'm keeping up.. but i don't feel that i am giving the best and whole of me because my energy is so scattered and thinned out between a multitude of things and people... and at the end of the day.. i have nothing left for myself.

so i lay restless... exhausted.... staring in the dark.... at the gates of slumber... and unable to cross until my  soul decides its gotten her share of the day... here comes the sun.

it's like this internal war of wanting to do everything and nothing at the same time.. and i'm not one to pass up an opportunity.. but i really must look at the quality of myself i am willing to put forth... i want to be able to focus all my attention and energy on [you] in our moment untouched by the hands of time.

this girl needs to slow dowwwwn.