some days.

Not everyday can be "great!" or "wonderful!!"
life doesn't work like that... and i wouldn't want it to.
otherwise we stay stagnant.
unable to appreciate.
unable to ascend.. to more than what we are at this moment.

on those days.. and all days, keep in mind.. to focus on what you have.
and not on what you don't.
or what isn't.

be grateful, instead of dwell.

paths may go astray... but continue to head towards the light.
It's all on you. YOU are your own salvation.
all you need is right here.

YOU are your own responsibility.
don't let yourself down.

some days.. it may seem impossible...

listening to: chris pureka~momentary thief.

friend.

i don't want to be alone anymore.
... and i'm not saying i want a relationship of the romantic kind.
... i am only hoping for a relationship of the extraordinary kind.

who said significant others had to be lovers...  who said relationships had to be sexual?

.. i've had this loneliness... for as long as i can remember ..a void that has never been satisfied. that can only be filled by [a] person. that [one] person. that [one] connection. that [one] friend... that i can call mine.. and me theirs.

i want to be called yours.

a meeting of souls.
a collaboration of minds.
a fixation of eyes..
an intimacy of quirks
an engagement of hearts.
an openness of love.
...
a comfort of controlled randomness.

i believe in such a thing exists.. and I hope to have it in my life. someday.

friend... i'm looking for you.. are you searching for me?

story of my life... (at least one of them)

Chromatics - I'm on Fire

"i got a bad desire... ohh ohh ohh i'm on fire"

be::LOVE.

Quote of the day:
"You make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
~Dale Carnegie

This used to be a fear of mine. To show interest... to show that I cared. I used to see it as a sign of weakness to allow another person to witness that they had an effect on me. In fear of rejection... in fear that I wouldn't see that same honesty in their eyes reflecting this energy back.

Really... that is no excuse to hold back.. to hinder from the world the true image that is me. I will open myself to you.. without expectations... in hopes that an extraordinary bond will be realized and seized.
and I have.

Vulnerability... in actuality is strength.
Strength to overcome...
Strength to break the barriers in which we contain ourselves in...
To allow yourself to love and be loved.
That, is vulnerability at its finest.
_________________
be::OPEN. be::LOVE

who AM i?

taking chances...
opting to be in situations i would normally be terrified to find myself in...
now all seem thrilling...
and compels me forward... higher
towards an unknown evolution.

fuck inhibitions.

all the wonders,
life's simple pleasures..
that i've sheltered myself from
are within my grasp...
and for the first time
i am reaching.
i am realizing the necessity..
the necessity of [you]
[your] mere presence... that fills the cracks
of my heart.. of my being.
and crumbles the armor that surrounds me.

i AM free.

driving just before sunrise

... all i can think
and feel is
you.

your absence stems this emptiness
and immediately
i miss you

it's an engraved ritual.
as are my morning texts telling you so.

... with the crows cawing,
... sweet birds yawning and
the faint echo of humming engines

feels like home. almost.
only you are missing.

4.25.2008 06:00:30 text msg

I

believe.
to persist in this notion
to be awed
in spite of the disappointment.

i dare continue to believe in the best of human kind
when time and time again
my expectations fail me.

i will not compromise.
i will not allow myself to be compromised.
only to be enlightened.

holding out for those.. to prove me right.
holding it together
for when its just one
left.
myself.